CRUEL REALITY

currently i am facing a major problem with this event that we are working on. there is so much critics and spoken words that sometimes sounded so foolish to my two little ears. at this point, i really have to be that 'servant leader' in which Fifa and i briefly talked about in our daily meal-breaks. i have to really pull up my sleeves and do it myself. i can tolerate mishaps,and even cruel critics that simply judge and keep talking without even sounding correct, but what made me so alarmed at this moment is that, for the sole purpose of looking good in the eyes of selected stakeholders, some people could really play dirty.

friends, will even turn their back on you, and foes,they'll crush you to death, playing the blame-game on you, and hit you real hard, on your face, on the ground!

gosh, reality check, i am stuck in a giant rut now, and while i have some 'hands' helping to pull me out, some other 'hands' are pushing my head deep down and leaving me to drown! this now, feels so personal and complex, but whatever it is, i have to get through it, at least until June.

friends and foes, i guess i've been around you for so long that you neglect my presence. and yes, two can play the dirty game, and i don't mind if it means unveiling your ugly truth, because my dear, i am not sinking in my own ship, but somebody have to be thrown out to ease its burden!

ciao.

ALAHAI KERJA

Mudahnya hidup tanpa tuntutan. Tak payah susah susah cari makan. Mudahnya. Bila kerja, boleh kerja ikut suka, tak payah campur politik opis. Duduk buat kerja sorang-sorang, dalam dinding, senyap diam diam. Tak payah naik tangga turun tangga, minta tandatangan bos ni, bos tu. Tak kena marah, tak kena hambur, tak pening fikir kena ludah org atas. Mudah.

Tapi bile tiba time org naik, lu bising, buat kerja lu tak mau,lu memang gelabahhhh...

AMARAH

Kris Dayanti & Siti Nurhaliza

Wanita bukanlah perhiasan mata
Wanita adalah pelengkap di jiwa
Yang perlu kau corak dan bimbingi dia
Dan pasti bukan sekadar dengan kata-kata

Manis mulut lidah kau berapi
Tanpa sedari hati kau sakiti
Ku menghargai segalanya
Namun mungkin kau yang lupa
Fikirkanlah dengarkanlah suaraku

Kau tak bisa hapuskan amarah
Walaupun engkau tahu
Aku mahu kamu mahu
Aku tahu kamu tahu
Dan ku takkan tunjukkanku amarah
Kerana aku tahu segala yang berlaku
Tetap akan berlaku di mana kudratku
Dia yang menentu
Dia yang menentu

Wanita bukanlah perhiasan mata
Wanita adalah pelengkap di jiwa
Yang perlu kau corak dan bimbingi dia
Dan pasti bukan sekadar dengan kata-kata

Manis mulut lidah kau berapi
Tanpa sedari hati kau sakiti
Ku menghargai segalanya
Namun mungkin kau yang lupa
Fikirkanlah dengarkanlah suaraku


Hati wanita terlalu rapuh kau genggami
Yang ingin selalu dimanja dan disayangi
Ku bukan tagih janji yang kau hancuri

Manis mulut lidah kau berapi
Tanpa sedari hati kau sakiti
Ku menghargai segalanya
Namun mungkin kau yang lupa
Fikirkanlah dengarkanlah suaraku

my weekend to end january

saya selalu percaya pada meditasi. saya tak percaya bahawa kerja kena bawa pulang ke rumah dan tidur sekadar 3 jam semalam sekadar utk menghasilkan penulisan yg hebat. walaupun saya selalu diingatkan tentang kehidupan ahli akademik yg tak boleh berehat, saya percaya waktu saya belum sampai utk terlalu menekan kehidupan yg sekarang saya nikmati.

so, hari ni cuti dan saya bermeditasi, dengan mengemas rumah!!!!! yeay! 4 jam tanpa henti, menyapu, menyental, membuang habuk, dan hasilnya wawlah! spotless. i am really turned on with cleanliness (ask hubby and siblings). rasa hebat sangat lepas luangkan masa kemas rumah dan buang semua habuk. ada niat jugak nak panggil pembantu utk kemas rumah, tapi bila pikirkan org luar menyentuh barangan dan melihat rahsia rumah, saya batalkan, tak menjadi jampi jampi saya nanti dalam menyerikan rumahtangga hehehe.saya re-arrange furniture, bagi semangat baru sikit. suami selalu pesan rumah yg tak berkemas, tiada senyuman, selalu akan hilang semangatnya, but no worries sayang, rumah kita penuh semangat isterimu yg semangat nih! heheehe.

dan kerja tetap kerja, cuma kerja patut dilakukan di pejabat, yg mana ofis pun saya dah buat housekeeping khamis lalu!! so, tak sabar juga nak masuk ofis next week dan siapkan penulisan dan kerja kerja akademik yg tertangguh..

dan esok, ada aktiviti dengan suami, melawat kawan di hospital, dan membantu kawan dari KL mencari hotel sekitar sg petani, dan selebihnya, bercinta la kami laki bini! rindunya kat suami! dialah tempat mengadu dan bermanja dan mengada ngada heheh.

ciao.

THE REST IS STILL UNWRITTEN

UNWRITTEN
(Miss Natasha Bedingfield)

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it

Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten



I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes,
but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find


The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten